Death By A Thousand Cuts
Full transparency as I write the words God placed on my heart, because I need to be reminded of God’s truth myself:
Everything was going great. Until it wasn’t. Suddenly, like a domino effect, my life descended into chaos. Everything fell apart, until I fell apart, mentally and physically. The dominos were made of glass, leaving me broken. I could no longer summon the strength to pick up the shattered shards. So, I sought out the comfort of my own home, where I was safe from stepping on glass, inflicting deep cuts of hurt.
Maybe you can relate, and feel like you are enduring death by a thousand cuts. In the Bible, there was a mistreated servant named Hagar. She was pressed by her master’s wife, Sarai, until she broke. Genesis 16:5 states, “Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her.” She fled to the wilderness, where she sought peace and solitude, free from affliction. There, the angel of the Lord appeared to her and called her to “return to your mistress and submit to her.”
The Lord did not condone her mistreatment. However, He reminded her of her calling: not to flee, but face her fears. The angel promised she would not only survive her mistreatment; she would thrive and be blessed for her perseverance. Hagar then called the Lord El Roi- the God who sees me. For she said, “Truly here I have seen Him who looks after me” (Genesis 16:13).
He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is El Roi, the God who sees us. The God who sees us at our lowest. The God who pursues us when we run from our problems. The God who not only sees us- the God who looks after us.
Today, as I drove back to school, I felt like Hagar, moving from a place of peace to a place of pain. However, I remembered He is the God who sees. He honors perseverance through pain. Through my own strength, I cannot piece together the shattered shards. However, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). He will repair and heal every cut, transforming brokenness into beauty.