Reflecting on my First Half Marathon.

The OKC Memorial Marathon is called “Run to Remember” in honor of the 168 people who lost their lives in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing. Not only did I run in remembrance of the lives lost in the Oklahoma City bombing, but I ran in remembrance of what I have walked through and overcame. 

Years ago, during cross country season, my runners' high was never high enough to reach the bar I set for myself. I strived to be smaller rather than stronger, placing my worth in numbers: the number on my Garmin watch and the number on the scale. As I ran mile after mile, I counted calorie after calorie.

Until I realized: the weight I needed to lose was not physical, but mental. When I stopped labeling the food and started labeling the lies I believed about myself, I lost the weight. Not weight in pounds, but the heaviness of my heart. The weight of never feeling good enough. 

Matthew 6:25 states, "Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" Life is about more than the calories you eat and drink, about more than the shape and size of your body.

Now, I am running once again, but with a different mindset. I am running as a celebration of my body, not because of what size it is, but because of how far it has carried me. I am not only running, but sharing my story to help others with the same struggle. For darkness cannot win when you shed light on it, and you are not alone. The choice is yours. You can live in restriction or in freedom. Choose freedom.