Trauma Transformation

Lightning. Flames. Smoke. Sirens. Ash. The summer I was going into second grade, my life was forever changed. The weather was hot and dry. One night, it began thundering without rainfall, and a lightning bolt struck the field across from my house. A spark turned into a flame, which grew into a monstrous fire. The air was heavy with thick, black smoke. It appeared as if it were storming outside because of the smoke; however, when my dad opened the door, he smelt the acrid scent and knew it was a fire. Hand in hand, my family rushed out the back door. We could not see more than a foot in front of us because the fog of smoke was so thick. In school, we learned about what to do in case of a fire. At the moment, all was forgotten. As my dad opened the truck door so we could pile in his vehicle and escape, his arm hairs were singed off because of the blazing burn of the flames. We thanked God for safety and prayed the firefighters would fan the flames. We prayed angels would surround us and our house. I have poetry about this experience:

One spark grew into a flame

And my life was forever changed.

I would never be the same.

Lungs filled with smoke

Could. Not. Breathe.

Only cough and choke

As the fire continued to grow

Along with my doubts

Would the firemen be too slow?

Would we make it out?

The Lord answered my family's prayers. However, instead of being in awe of the miracles of God, I was tormented with trepidation. Anxiety remained in my mind along with the remains of ash in my yard. The fire brought forth immense fear. I was traumatized. Every night, I had vivid nightmares about my family burning.

Lying awake night after night

Dreams of darkness, where is the light?

Paralyzed in terror

with my mind full of nightmares.

No longer naive, innocent, and free.

Burdened with the weight of anxiety

Nightmares of hearing my family’s helpless screams.

As their bodies turned to ashes

In all of my dreams.

My mom led me to read Psalm 91 every night before I went to sleep. The nightmares dissipated. He truly made beauty out of ashes, and I experienced the power of Scripture firsthand. For the Word of the Lord is alive and powerful. I rested in assurance He sheltered me with His wings, and His faithful promises were my armor and protection" (Psalm 91:4).

Now, I no longer am paralyzed with fear when someone lights a candle, and I live in freedom instead of fear. This is another example of how my perspective was transformed from pitiful to powerful, and I wrote new poetry.

you make beauty from ash.

for you work all things

for good on my behalf.

lungs filled with smoke,

but in you i place my hope.

material things will fade away;

they will rot and decay.

only your love will remain.

now, my lungs will sing you praise!

i will proclaim your name.

nothing will be the same,

but you never change.

you place me on solid ground,

for your wisdom is profound.

my old life fell apart,

so my new life may start.

Admin. “What Is Trauma.” Center for Treatment of Anxiety & Mood Disorders, 2 Sept. 2022,

https://www.centerforanxietydisorders.com/what-is-trauma/.